This isnt an extended but i guess boundaries. this will make these things make more sense. all this applies to ADULTS cus i dont interact with people under 18. this is very long and im sorry. actually no im not lets all normalize being descriptive and less vague to avoid miscommunication and antagonistic assumptions. but i just wanna be happy and have fun online, and avoid people that make that not possible. this isnt me saying “if you do these things youre a bad person”, i just dont want people like this talking to me or in my life for my own sanity and maybe theirs too. if u think im stupid for feeling this way or having these boundaries thats fine, click the “x” in the tab and u will never have to see me again lmao. i’m sensitive in a weird way that i cant explain sorry, nothing to do with insecurity (but being sensitive to mean behaviors bc of that isnt a bad thing either), more to do with psychosis and paranoia, as well as cptsd. and a bit of autonomy issues. this isnt directed at anyone or anything either, this is based off of multiple life experiences im tired of having and people im tired of meeting. (side comments arent meant to be rude) (i’ll specify if otherwise) this isnt me saying im better than anyone for doing these things im saying that we wont get along and i will avoid people like this. then we wont have to deal with each other, aint that a win win sitch? just bc i have flaws (we all do and if u think u dont, just know that the only one that truly believes that is u lol) doesnt mean i cant express disliking rude behavior but for some reason people think that you having flaws means ur not entitled to ur feelings. or if u do something annoying that u cant be annoyed w that same thing later on. generational trauma sucks. ik thats hyper specific to say, keep in mind that as much as ive been through the nasty, i have also BEEN the nasty so ik FOR SURE what im talking abt here (but i can always be wrong)
While you are reading this, please keep in mind that I experience psychosis heavily throughout my daily life and thats why i have these boundaries. im Not saying this so ur sympathetic towards me idc abt allat, im saying it so these boundaries make more sense. i hate people misunderstanding me.
✰ If you’re a mean person or if you make being rude and mean your entire personality or think making others feel small and intimidated is cool. I’ll most likely feel unsafe around you, and might be overly paranoid. stop getting surprised when people dont like being around you or hide things about themselves from u. you’re also not “better” than anyone for being this way, thats just cope
✰ if you think people cant change or think of people in such a one dimensional way. if you think that just because someone is one thing, then they can’t be the other or just multiple things at once, we wont get along bc in my little world i can be everything and everything, and i engage in different types of self expression. i absolutely despise people that try to tell others what they can and can’t be, what they can and can’t like, and how they can and can’t engage with something bc of stupid rules they made up. i hate people that think they can tell others who they are. fuck u. (on the flip side, pls think for yourself. if u dont then you will get people like this tryna do it 4 u.) i dont like gatekeepers who’s only reason is that its getting popular and people will interpret the story “wrong” (translation: different way than they do.) there’s good reasons for gatekeeping, but thats not one of them. u also sound fuckin ridiculous (this is meant to be insulting)
✰ if you think emotions are “weak” and u make fun of others for having them or try to act dumb when people get upset/feel hurt when youre mean to them. i’ve overcome this part of my trauma and i dont wanna be around people that havent solely bc u treat others like shit and then try to justify it by stupid means. i sympathize i just dont wanna be around u like at all. i hate people that say mean things abt people or say things with the intention to belittle or shame others, and then get shocked when people respond negatively to it. you’re not better than anyone for your opinions on certain things. i wont fight u on any of ur opinions lets just avoid each other. (i can tell when people are joking or being hyperbolic or satirical when they say that, i mean people who GENUINELY believe and act that way) or if u think expressing strong emotion about anything is embarrassing. ur not nonchalant u just seem emotionally stunted (not an insult, said out of care)
✰ If you nitpick others for the most random or little things. reason is paranoia and it’ll make me paranoid about just everything, and i’ll pick up on it, so just stay away from me. i’ll feel unsafe around you if i notice that you do this to other people. (not to be confused with people venting abt things, learn the difference) not to mention u also probs do it to urself without noticing and thats like equally bad. be nice to urself and others! #Childhoodtrauma i’ve been on both sides, it sucks all around. go away if u do this knowingly and excuse it. actually just go away if u hide behind any vices to avoid criticism or rather shield from it. (i dont mean explaining the reason why u do it, i mean saying that its ok bc xyz and invalidating others’ emotions with that. miss me w that bs.)
✰ If you have a high/heavy individuality complex or in simpler terms, you “dont like people copying or taking inspo” from you. also if u make fun of or single out others for taking inspo off of you just bc they didnt “credit you”. Inspo is not the same as plagiarism and thinking that someone needs to credit you for a style or elements of a style is stupid and self absorbed. (meant to be insulting.) Paranoia + im tired of sacrificing self expression or enjoyment in things for other people’s insecurities or whatever makes them act this way. I’ll probably make an in depth blog post abt my feelings on this topic just for the sake of blogging and sharing a perspective. But i cant stand people that do this bc you just make everyone around you feel like they have to limit themselves to avoid upsetting you or being singled out by you LOL its unfair.
✰ adding more to the last, more a small disclaimer, but if you project onto characters so heavily that you get episodic over shared interest or pfps of them being used etc. (if u can regulate urself thats fine i just dont want you to make it my problem…) its best we dont interact. i see myself in characters for the littlest things and might even relate or say im them jus bc they look cool. theres nothing wrong w that either and if u think there is well… idk. thats ur opinion and ur entitled to that opinion, just dont make it my problem cus im not gonna stop myself from liking/engaging things or expressing myself just because it makes you upset, thats not fair or fun to be around. if this would ruin our friendship or you’d pick the character over me just dont talk to me like ever. im tired of shallow friendships and losing friends over stupid shit like this.
✰ If you’re unable to resolve conflict in a mature manner/unable to resolved conflict without being rude or explosive. It will cause more communication problems between us, and i wont be able to understand you if youre hurling insults at me, swearing at me or just being aggressive in general. in general it doesnt solve anything. if you’re unable to, thats fine but stay away from me. resolved conflict shouldnt result in either of us feeling like dirt or “Defeated”. if u think conflicts are something to “win” instead of something to resolve and overcome as a team, STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!
✰ If you have an “us vs. them” mentality or “black and white thinking”. especially when it comes to conflict. But in general stay away from me if you think like this. yes i understand that certain disorders cause it, i still dont want to be around you if you’re not willing to manage it. i’m managing my symptoms and i dont want to be around people that wallow in their mental illnesses. i feel for u but i will feel for you from the farthest distance ever. stay away from me
✰ If you have a superiority complex about just anything. i dislike people like this. This sets off multiple symptoms and its best we dont interact. there’s a difference between being proud of yourself (you should always feel proud of yourself even when it’s just for getting up in the morning) and having a superiority complex, i know the difference, dont worry. if u think youre superior than others for being good at something, knowing how to do something, knowing (about) something or being something, i find you jarring and stressful to be around. and stop getting mad when people dont react positively to that kinda behavior either. tbh stop getting mad when people talk about the mean shit u say abt others or things you do to them, they have the right to be. if u dont like it then stop saying and doing mean shit. on the flip side if someone’s changed or the conflict’s been resolved, its unfair to hold that over their head.
✰ If you think that just because you are struggling doesn’t mean that others are also struggling. or if you use your struggles (and other people’s) to manipulate or control people or win arguments/conflicts whatever. u probably dont mean to but if i notice this kind of thing i will just communicate my feelings abt it.
✰ If you look down on others for struggling or “being sensitive”. I feel like a lot of people that do this only do so to make sure THEY arent a target or do it to justify hurting people/justify their rude behavior. that bs is easy to see through for me but its still irritating to be around. lets just avoid each other.
✰ If you think your disorders are triumphs and not a challenge. i have played these games b4, youre stunting your growth. thats ur business tho im a stranger on the internet but if you do this then stay away from me pls. i dont want to be around people that hide behind their disorders or think about themselves and other people through these disorders and other labels. ESPECIALLY CLUSTER B. if youre not trying to manage your symptoms or have a “im just like this and everyone just has to deal with it and if they cant theyre too sensitive or just dont get it” mentality stay away from me. (not to be confused with people that make do with their circumstances and have found what works for them. i mean when people do this manipulatively).
✰ If you think there’s a “right or wrong” way to have psychosis. for my own sanity and wellbeing rly. “i experience psychosis and i dont do this!” good for you, want a cookie? most of my paranoid delusions cause me to be suspicious of others (i always am tbh), and my judgements will be way off if i feel unsafe. if i take things too far or hurt someone, i’ll apologize (but i might struggle to if youre aggressive, i dont care if you think its the “only way to get me to understand” or think that because i hurt you, it gives you the right to do the same to me, you are wrong and i might just comply so you stop being aggressive, and the conflict wont be truly resolved. it also might worsen my paranoia and i’ll just avoid or hide things from you, so keep that in mind. if u have poor emotional regulation just stay away from me in general bc i require a lot of patience.)
✰ actually more on that, if you “fight fire with fire” or think that because i hurt you (which is most likely by mistake, because i dont like hurting people and i dont intend to however my intentions dont change the impact my behavior can have on someone) that gives you the right to “hurt me back” or speak to me however you want (verbal aggression, personal attacks, humiliating me for my wrongdoings). i used to do this kinda thing and it just creates more problems in the end. i also hate when people think that someone is “playing victim” for being hurt about something. just go away if u disagree cus i dont rly care. the idea that that hurting someone or being aggressive or just wearing them down aggressively will get them to “learn” or “understand you” comes from childhood trauma. and. various other factors. i will legit lie to you out of fear if you do this, and if u go on thinking that things are resolved then u r wrong. they might be FOR YOU at least.
✰ i will find it hard to trust you or feel safe telling you how i feel about things if you are impulsive, explosive, emotionally rigid, or prone to breaking others’ trust when you’re upset or not on good terms. i will not trust you if you’re quick to label people or label people at all.
i think thats it but i might add idk i dont plan on going out of my way to make friends or interact heavily with others but if you are interested in being friends with me then yea. i also am capable of communicating my issues so i will. this is moreso for people that are aware and are “proud” of behaving that way or making others feel bad about themselves. i heavily dislike those that take pleasure in making people feel inferior to them, or feign superiority when called out. i dislike people that shame others for reacting negatively to their hurtful behavior. (i’ve been on the other side of the coin, its not good for YOU either.)
dont assume i act, think or feel a certain way based off this txto lmao theres more to like everything on this list but im not gonna overexplain myself to strangers on the internet or people that will dislike me anyway. much luv. if u read allat, thank u. these will make more sense if you read the other thing linked (which i’ll link again here.) again, none of this directed to anyone specific or any specific situations and if u think im lying thats not my problem lmao i just refuse to subscribe to or subject others to hurtful bs anymore its exhausting! i like enjoying life and i like being around others that feel the same way.
txto