𝄞 ͜͝ | ͜͝ 𓈒 ͜͝ ། ͜͝ 
Clinic, Sydney or Emilio. hx/hy hym(n) it doll vamp, see other terminology here. 16 (09), always iwec. Incredibly sick and disordered individual, disabled and chronically ill. Be patient and understanding with us ty ᣟ ✚
For decorated & personal links visit /picu on rentry or see the the directory you came from. This is a vague non-decorated extended for my pages & system to refer to.
We are a system ( dx udd & medically recognised as plural ) so are prone to forgetting a lot of things and heavy periods of dissociation. We have around ~40ish known parts and switch semi-frequently. Majority of my parts may behave similarly due to masking as eachother very often.
As a system we are plural meaning we have a fragmented identity and alternative parts of consciousness, we switch between using I/we and may often behave differently from one another, forget people and things or use different names and terminology. Ask for front if you are unsure on how to refer to us.
We are also diagnosed with Asd, Bpd, Ocd, c-ptsd & several other unlisted disorders. We show heavy symptoms of SzPD that have been professionally recognised by our previous therapist. We are incredibly disordered and will behave as such, don’t be surprised when we show symptoms and act like we didn’t make that clear.
We enjoy many things, our interests mainly consist of visual novels, vkei, jfashion subculs, hoyoverse, collecting dolls and figures, various animangas, gothic medias, cosplay art and piercing & tattoo art. See our full list of interests here. We may interact with problematic medias ( e.g DOL ), purely for coping reasons. We do not support the actions of any of the darker medias we are interested in.
Our conditions heavily impact our day to day life and how we interact with other people, we are incredibly prone to splitting and different kinds of episodes frequently upto several times a day. We have a disorganised attachment style and heavily struggle with emotional impermanence, emotional dependency and self control.
I am also chronically ill and disabled. Plagued with POTS, MECFS, a range of mobility issues and other chronic conditions that remain unspecified. I spend majority of my time housebound, do not attend education and am incredibly withdrawn from society. I use walking aids and a wheelchair on a frequent basis.
I may refer to myself as a hikikomori due to the term best describing my life style. I find comfort in sickness and solitude, being perceived as sick and staying indoors due to severe agoraphobia.
We make our boundaries and how we behave clear from day one, if you don’t like it communicate with me or don’t talk at all. We expect people to be understanding and communicative with us or else we will not get along. Be mindful of our triggers, respectful and honest and we will be sure to do the same. If you don’t like something we do just say that.
Some of our biggest triggers include topics of psychiatric care and wards ( do not mention unless asked or we bring it up first ), being copied or having my behaviours mocked, people refusing to be clear about their feelings and intentions with me, in-depth selfharm topics, I don’t care if you mention it just don’t give me the details. And people attempting to one-up me in regard to my interests, knowledge about them or feelings toward my F/O’s. Otherwise I’ll make it clear if something bothers / triggers me, but don’t be surprise when I spiral about it and need time to talk about the issue.
Why am I sharing these? Because it makes my life easier when people know what not to do rather than me having to tell them repeatedly. Don’t try to educate me about the safety of sharing things online, I’m capable of keeping myself safe.
I experience heavy symptoms of NSSI and am prone to generally harmful and delusional behaviours. Engage in self-mutilating tendencies and am an addict; I am not actively in recovery for all of my disorders. I do not want pity or unwanted support, my problems are my own business.
We have an incredibly complex identity; collectively we are agender-spec, transmascneu and identify as non-human. We hoard xenogenders and microlabels to better express our identities and make sense of them to others. Click linked text to see our hoard. 💉
Some of our collective labels include; t4t, uranic, attraction to mascneu aligned people, nebularomantic, recipromantic and unlabeled gender.
I attach myself to inhuman traits and concepts as a way to cope and have control over my fragmented identity; some of those concepts include being a living-dead vampire, psychiatric patient and a porcelain doll. I identify with all things medical and a variety of fictional characters.
Some of our collective ID’s include Scaramouche, Maeno Aki, Takumi Natsume, Agape ( SHTDN ), Angel Devil, Sydney ( DOL ), Towa, Shion Tatsunami, Rei Ayanami, Sunday, Kiana Kaslana, Fu Hua, Mo Chengwei & Bai Ling ( Touqi Guaitan ), Emilio Murkmere, Kanata Shinkai, Kanato Sakamaki and more.
We additionally experience delusional attachments to a variety of characters and other things, especially those highlighted in bold above. I am not typically a fan of people who share our ID’s and can be very selective about interacting with those who do. Please bear in mind a D/A is not a kin term, it’s a delusion and I am actively working on recovery.
We are both schizoid (susp) and borderline and experience psychosis-like symptoms. meaning due to our symptoms we struggle with both maintaining and forming relationships. We struggle to see meaning in socialising or interpersonal relationships, and generally struggle with attachment towards people. We experience frequent episodes of delusional and psychotic behaviour and spend alot of time in treatment.
We have a history of inpatient stays and general hospital trauma. My mental health can be very competitive in many ways. I am frequently in and out of hospital and see myself as a permanent living patient, it is a big part of my identity. I do not like hearing about other people’s experiences with inpatient or their history of it. I am incredibly likely to withdraw from a conversation or completely cut off a person if they mention it around me.
I do not engage in discourse or drama, I don’t care for it unless it’s a concern of my friends. Don’t drag me into issues I have no part in. I don’t care about other people’s behaviours, proship, engaging in problematic medias and things alike. Just don’t make it my business.
I do not typically care for a DNI, I block freely and often. If I don’t like someone I won’t interact with them. Many of my friends are problematic and I do not care. But I won’t interact with people who are TRASH, antis of my sp/ins or F/O’s, don’t support neoprns or xenogenders, endogenic systems or generally people who are mean and passive aggressive. I am #woke and don’t care what people do to cope.
txto