when i’m slow dancing in the dark, don’t follow me, you’ll end up in my arms

you clinged to my body like you wanted it forever

when i told you that loving you almost makes life worth it, i was not joking.

i thought that i was dreaming when you said you loved me

at least you pay attention during mind games ‘cause you don’t like to lose

i apologise for all your tears, i wish i could be different

i think i’m better when im with you, but i worry when you’re gone

i dreamt of you and woke up alone

the distance is futile

you say we’re small and not worth the mention

i wanna slow dance while they’re screaming

you said you needed me but i was always there

i can’t afford to love someone who isn’t dying by mistake

we go out but always leave early

i always have to guess whether or not you’re in love

but i’d rather have you this way than no way at all

we learn from the ones we fear the worst

please just blow out all the candles, blow out all the candles. you’re too old to be so shy

i know that i’m the reason you don’t smile anymore

i’m getting too comfortable in my skin again

grieving someone that wasn’t mine to lose

is it trickery or fate that we become what we’ve been named?

i’ll still shower just to feel the warmth

we both know that, when it comes to love, i’m the one who feels too deeply

closure like a deer in headlights

you know that i’m your worst sin

i don’t want your pity, i just want somebody near me

let’s fall in love for the night

the world is ending, and i’m on my own

i would marry you in an instant

oh you kissed me, just to kiss me, not to take me home

i’m living to learn what to lie about

i’m not sure what it means to love but i kinda blink slow around you

i’ll love you more than my future spouse

how many summers would we have together?

how would my name sound in your mouth at 65?

would a lifetime really feel like forever? or would i still be selfish, begging for more time?

if i’d do anything for you, that means, you know you could do anything to me

depollute me, pretty baby \nsuck the rot right out of my bloodstream.

and every second i let you stick around feels selfish

sometimes i feel like you’re a little bird i saved, except instead of fixing your wings i tore them off so you’d stay with me.

i can love you desperately, though your love ain’t guaranteed

if i said you could never touch me, you’d come over and say i looked lovely.

and she smiled, maybe not at me but, after all this time, she still smiled, so i smiled too.

i’ve been digging my nails into the surface of your skin, trying to hold onto something

the way i’d risk it all on you, i want that for me too

and minutes feel like hours. i’m under flowers; think someone buried me alive.

everything ends and that’s the saddest thing i think i’ll ever hear

but everything ends, and that’s the sweetest thing i’ll ever hear again

and growing doesn’t keep a diary, but i do, and i see us on the other side.

and then i start laughing, but you hear nothing.

if i had the guts i would’ve punched you in the back room.

but does your mother know?

nothing makes me feel quite so alive as her

i hope your flowers bloom through the rain

i want to tell you this story without having to be in it

i’ll soak you up, when i’m feeling sick.

i’m losing again from holding too tight

i just don’t think that you like me that much anymore

and, no, im not angry i think that im just feeling sore

if you said stop id be still

when you say leave, i run

you said “forgive me”, i said, “you did nothing wrong”

you kissed the hair upon my head and i felt molly’s mouth

i know this is not your fault, wish i could turn the memories off, but everytime i look at you, i see molly

I don’t want your heart. It’s not yours anymore, it’s just a heart now and I already have one.

I don’t want your lungs, just deflated birthday party balloons that can’t breathe anymore.

i don’t want a jar of your teeth as a memento.

I don’t want your ripped off skin, a blanket to wrap myself in when I need to feel like you’re still here. \nYou won’t be there. \nThere’s no blood there, there’s no life there, there’s no you there. I want you.

And I will write you so many fucking dead friend poems, that people will confuse my tongue with your tombstone and try to plant daisies in my throat before I ever write you an obituary while you’re still fucking here.

I will write you letters, messages in bottles, in cages, in orange peels, in the distance between here and the moon, in forests and rivers and bird songs.

My vanity is insanity unless it helps get you off

learned to make herself small enough \nto nearly fit back in her eggshell \nto tip toe atop eggshells.

darling, id wait for you - even if you didnt ask me to

id bottle the feeling you give me

theres a sadness in this house, i can never quite pin down.

it’s somewhere in my body, and not inside these walls. that, even if i moved back home, my childhood would still be gone.

its not your fault, i just think i was in love.

your voice puts sickness into my gut, and i swallowed just a little too much

you make every part of me small - im short of breath and two feet tall

im not perfect - im no fool - i know that i messed shit up too, but id never do what you did.

maybe i’ll cry with you all night, and give you a few years of my life, but – im not gonna lie to you, – im not gonna die with you

two hundred living rooms \nblur to impressionist paintings \nthat stick to a minivan door

foreheads on windows and \na driver so silent you can hear a forgiving and a long gentle snore

it’s the last time that ill see you, and the last time that we’ll talk

it’s getting dark and warmth isnt promised

holy blessed lover, confessing to another

and maybe it betrayed me, i often dream ive had a baby

i can remember the feeling of being small

praying to a god i dont believe in

can you remember the evenings of your youth?

where does it go? so fast and so slow and so, you notice you got old

i can remember believing that my parents were gods

and, yes, there’s comfort in people, but fear in faith thats lost

oh, what a wonderful feeling; to own and operate your life

but, oh, what a terrible burden; all my decisions are mine

when i was younger, i longed to be a mother

i bet i’ll warn my kids all about my mistakes that they will just go out and make

would you tell me if i was a player, by the mouth of god?

would you tell me if you had to fake it, but you loved me, honestly?

and, sometimes, i think i kill relationships for art

where are you going? can i come too?

days seem sometimes as if they’ll never end

sun takes its heels to taunt you

finding refuge in my own lies.

i wanna be .. \ni wanna buy you \npretty little things \nand never ever lie to you.

talk it all into the ground, have a ceremony there.

the table’s bent \nand the flower’s sad \nthere’s a book i love \nbut its kind of bad.

and symphonies \nas floorboards \nin the house compete

ive started to notice, on my own, i disappear

i say it all like a promise isnt just a hopeful lie

are you the definition of insanity \nor am i \noh it must be nice \nto love someone \nwho lets you break them twice

kissed me half a decade later \nthat same perfume \nthose same sad eyes

she’s so hard to please, but shes a forest fire

and it hurts all the more \nwhen you carry the world as a child

i kissed a girl from the internet \nand her lips were cold \nbut i dont talk to people anymore

need to make myself small again \nso that i can fit \nin the palms of your hands \nso that i can be \nloved again

honey, just put your \nsweet lips on my lips \nwe should just kiss \nlike real people do

i hate you for what you did \nand i miss you like a little kid

i have emotional motion sickness, \nsomebody roll the windows down

there are no words in the english language \ni could scream to drown you out

did you get enough love, my little dove, why do you cry?

and im sorry i left \nbut it was for the best \nthough, it never felt right \nmy little versailles

give me a minute \njust one will do

give me a minute \nkiss me again

i’ll give you a minute \nlet you have peace. \ni’ll say farewell to what i can’t tell \ni bet that you’ll do just the same.

i’m already scared of winter even though summers taking her sweet time to start

elle m’aime un peu, beaucoup, passionnément, à la folie, pas du tout

write me in your own words. \nturn me into melodies, \ninto symphonies, \ninto something.

what if i had told your mother \nher son was a cruel motherfucker

couldn’t really love you anymore \nyou’ve become my ceiling.

can you remind me of my gravity? \nground me when im \ntumbling, spiralling \nplummeting down to earth

i dont think i love you anymore \nthat gold mine changed you.

I was punished for clinging. I clung. I clutched all those I loved; I clutched at the lovely moments of life; my hands closed upon every full hour. My arms were always tight and craving to embrace and hold the light, the wind, the sun, the night, the whole world.

I wanted to caress, to heal, to rock, to lull, to surround, to encompass. And I strained and I held so much that they broke; they broke away from me. Everything eluded me then. \n \nI was condemned not to hold.

the world is in silence \nbetween your footsteps

and love lives in the corners \nof empty houses, \n’cause god knows \nthat it’s always been \nthe last thing left to leave

so i’ll tell you too, honey \nwhat i know to be true \nhe was wrong to kill mornings \nhe was wrong in that room.

and you tore apart nothing \nby telling the truth \nand they shouldn’t blame you \nthey shouldn’t blame you.

it’ll always be your fault \nand it’ll never be his \nit’ll never be his.

they’ll change you, honey \nthey won’t try to change him \n“good men have all sinned” \nthey won’t try to change him.

but he won’t get their anger, \nyou will bear it instead.

and they’ll hate you, honey \nthough you’ll never hate them \nyou’ll never hate them \nyou’ll never hate him.

leave me lonely for prettier women \nyou know i need too much attention for shit like that

why i can’t stay alone just by myself? \nwish i was comfortable just by myself \nbut i need you, but i need you, but i need you

how could it be 20 something, all alone still, not a thing in my name?

wish i was the type of girl that you take over to mama \nthe type of girl i know my daddy, he’d be proud of

it’s 2AM again and i’m stuck up thinkin’ about the last time you were behind me, all in the mirror \ni could see everything you would be doing \ni could see everything, lookin’ at me like you love me

if he’s sleeping on the floor, it seems he’s found his place

i fell for someone new but she’s just another girl that looks like you. \nwhat’s love if it’s not true? it’s just another girl that looks like you.

i hate what you’re doing, i hate that it feels so right.

you sure we’re out of their sight? they’re staring, through the car lights. \ni hate what you doing, i hate that it feels so

but i’m in your garden again, until it’s 4. conversations have started. what could this be?

i’d be out here for longer but it’s just too cold and, with nowhere to hide us, it won’t come true.

i wanna be anything you’ve lost that you might be looking for

light a fire, live without it \nhave a dark thought and tell me all about it

the inn in baton rouge \nshe was a late-shift waitress \nwith a pour heavy, now you’re home on hiatus \ndoes she hold a candle to me? \ni kissed my co-star in rehearsal anyway

i saw a movie everybody hated \nin an empty theatre in duluth \nswear i really loved it \nlove is such a better thing to do

and, instead, i found a soundbite \nof someone i love saying something mean and hard

i wanted everything mine to be yours too \nincluding the pain of losing you

i came over here to be alone, \nnot to kill your things that fly

call me crazy, crazy, crazy

please don’t forgive me \nit’d be a pity after all of that, \nwatch me come crawling back

oh my god, i gotta slow down now \n(oh my god, i gotta slow down now) \noh my god, i gotta slow down somehow

its tactless, it’s a test \nit’s just thérèse, it’s just thérèse

and get her down, take her off the wall

drink up all the darkness \nchoke on the moon in your mouth

and, oh, i can watch it in the movies \ndon’t wanna see it that crafted and clear \nwanna be the pervert driver \ngazing at them through a tilted mirror

we can’t just be lonely, alone

now our roof is on fire and it kills \nand we’re stuck in this house that we built

i wish i could identify with the way that i feel when i’m with you

what if i can’t get over you? \nshow my grandkids pictures of us two? \ni’m afraid to miss you for that long \nif i’m in love and i know our time’s up

i’ll replant the flowers for the attention \ntry to find a bit right between love and obsession

i’ll never tell anyone the whole story and you’ll never tell anyone that you loved me.

but i’ll stand in the rain long enough to feel clean.

and then one good day when we live in the same city, i’ll come by and tell you that you look insanely pretty

you can kiss the skin from my lips if it makes you feel good

you can call me what you like \nas long as you call me

do i ruin everything for you, my love? everything.

i don’t know how it happened, guess i’d die to keep your eyes on me

don’t wanna scrape you off the pavement, i can’t be your saviour. \ni don’t wanna be here when you lose control \ndon’t wanna watch it as it happens, see the crowds’ reaction \ni don’t wanna be here when you kill us both.

you kiss me in your car, and it feels like the start of a movie i’ve seen before \nbut it’s not real, and you dont exist, and i cant recall the last time i was kissed.

i don’t wanna take my mind off you. please, take me home and kiss me slow and do anything you want to.

i don’t wanna take my mind off you. please, make me laugh and kiss me back and do everything you want to. push me up against the wall, it’s okay to be rough, i can handle this stuff, only if you’re comfortable.

it’s always on the tip of my tongue. i read an article on the internet, told me that that’s how you know you’re falling in love. don’t really trust whats on the internet, but maybe just this once.

if i could rewind would there be some butterfly effect, what if we never met? what if the stars never aligned?

what the hell is my problem with taking the blame?

i feel more free than i have in years, six feet in the ground.

she’s got glitter for skin, my radiant beam in the night

can you distract me from all the disaster? can you touch on me and not call me after? can you hate on me and mask it with laughter? can you lead me to the ark, what’s the password?

you said all my friends are on my payroll, you’re not wrong, you’re an asshole.

i’ve never said it but i know that i can’t picture anything past 25.

i wonder how many things you think about before you get to me.

but i’m a giver and he is immune. he is hungry for someone but doesn’t know who.

but you said how could i even care if the gods were against us? but i care if they’re against us. don’t you care if our fate is against us?

There are boxes of clementines in the kitchen and the thing is that I love you again.

And for this world the flesh is not good for much at all, except to love and then to mourn.

your honour, i do not have to be good. i do not have to walk on my knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. i only have to let the soft animal of my body love what it loves.

I ache for the world and I run away from it

i want to be monstrous. i want to be desired.

This is not to say all men are hungry. This is not even to say all men are hunting. But haven’t we all found the bones of a woman stuck like leftovers between a full man’s teeth?

if there is a light then i am going to swallow it. if there is a god then i’m going to make him cry.

This is why we dance: Because screaming isn’t free. \n \nPlease tell me: Why is anger – even anger – a luxury to me?

i do not want to be a person. i want to be unbearable.

i long to love and be loved \nbut that is not what i was made for \ni was made for longing \ni was made for loneliness.

wait for the leaves to change in autumn, \nthen you’ll learn again \nthat everything you crave \nwas here all along.

she brought you into this world \nand she will sure as hell take you out of it.

and i hope id believe it. \n \n— i know id believe it

“because you are kind, and generous. and people said you loved me.” \n \n “did people say you love me?” \n \n“they said thats why snow tortured you, \nto hurt me.”

well did you miss me? \nwalk on water just to kiss me? \noh, come and get me, \ndrag me out, \ndestroy me.

vulnerability has never once hurt me. life has hurt me. people have hurt me. but that’s life. pain is a part of it.

i want to make life so achingly lovely that you never want to leave it

i realised today i want a life. i realised i want a wife and a dog and a house with double doors. sunsets and sunrises give me hope, i love driving with the windows down. i realised i wanted a life.

and if i asked you to name all of the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?

if we’re not supposed to dance, \nwhy all this music?

you’ll see the same horizon, \nmaybe 20 more times. \nyoull kiss the lips you love \nbut you wont keep a timeline.

she told me that i was lucky. \nthat i should be glad it wasn’t worse. \nwhat i didn’t tell her was that i wish it had been, i wish what happened to me was worse.

it’s not fair that we laughed together and you cried alone.

i killed a plant once because i gave it too much water. lord, i worry that love is violence.

i know kindness exists because i am kind. \n \n“people aren’t good” \n \ni am people. i am good. you are wrong.

once i found a butterfly’s wing on the sidewalk. i wanted to keep it, but i didnt. \ni knew there were things i should never find beautiful. \nlike death. and girls.

by touch. by smell. i would know him blind. i would know him in death.

“how will you remember?” \n \n“that i love you?” \n \n“yes.” \n \n“that’s easy. i can’t help it.”

the desire to be sicker to prove that you are sick, itself is indicative of sickness. a well person does not desire to be sick.

the love was there. it didn’t change anything. it didn’t save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there.

how do you grieve something that’s still alive? how do you love something that has always been dead? and the answer is just. intensely.

“your favourite colour is green. is that real?” \n \n “yeah. that’s real.” \n “yours is orange. not bright orange. soft, like the sunset.” \n \n“thank you.”

i would’ve loved you if we had more time.

i’ll cry about this earth in heaven too.

you kiss the back of my legs and i want to cry. only the sun has come this close, only the sun.

you never call it heartbreak if it’s you that cuts it off. you never call it losing if you aren’t the one that lost.

it is one thing to be seen. and another thing entirely to be held.

you flinch as my hand tries to wipe your tears away and all i wish to do is hold you and make all the bad things disappear.

forever is a lie, because tomorrow isn’t promised, but i promise that if tomorrow comes, i will still love you.

you wished the world was ending \nbut it isnt, my love, \nim sorry.

your world will end long before the earth does.

if there is a god \nshe is not kind \nshe is beaten and fucked up and bruised \nshe is insane and vile \nshe picks at the skin on your back \nkills the farm animals one by one \nslams your head into the wall \nand screams \nshe sends you to pretty white rooms \nand drugs you til you cant breathe

she’s your mother. \nshe tries \nshe’s doing the best she can \nshe provides for you \nyou’re just a horrible kid \nyou just cant get better \nwhy cant you get better?

i want you to be angry. \nbe angry with me \nbe angry with your incapability of defining me.

i don’t believe in god, \nat least not one that’s not \nas human as me \nor anyone \nthere ever was

2026-02-20T00:58:41Z
txto