lane and big bad dogs in general came to me at a really low point in my life. a point where i felt as if i didn’t have much purpose. a point where i didn’t know what i was doing with my life and why i was going where i was going. but.. being able to play a visual novel such as big bad dogs was like being given a hug i didn’t know i needed in such a time of need.
bbd covers various different topics including things that women have to face on a daily basis. but even then, i still got a sense of comfort.
i didn’t really have anyone when i got into bbd, so lane somehow ended up being a big comfort for me. in spite of his stupid jokes, silly way of flirting, and even the things he says in poor taste, i still fell for him regardless. being able to experience the layers of lane’s character really motivated me in different areas of my life where i felt like a key was missing and had been discarded of.
for the longest time, i didn’t draw. but feeling a connect with lane made me want to replenish my relationship with drawing. and not just drawing, but writing too. creating things for lane filled me with joy of just being in the moment and creating something for the things you love.
lane has made me stare at my screen on various occasions wondering “why did he think that was okay to say?” and “how does he even come up with this?” moments where i’m just thinking aloud to myself “yeah.. his mouth is going to get him killed in a future update and there’s absolutely nothing i can do about it because lane is lane.”
but seeing lane be there in the moments where it truly matters makes my heart melt like ice cream. because beneath all the distasteful jokes and comments and avoidance, is a guy who is capable of getting serious when it is truly needed. the sweet moments of him remembering things like the player’s fear of the colour red. it’s a unconventional fear, but lane sees her genuinely panicking and he makes the move to wipe the blood from his nose instead of doing something a true asshole would do. such as get in her face and go “haha! you really are scared of things like this???” and so forth.
those little things i see and remember. and lane doesn’t just automatically forget about it either. in shift three, his care is further showed when he learns that the player has gaps in her memory (heavily implied to be from ptsd). he doesn’t poke fun at her for it. instead, he rather quickly aims to reassure her that she’s not weird for having gaps in her memory which is rather sweet if one has any experience with having ptsd before learning what to call such symptoms of memory loss.
even when she starts panicking in the bathroom, lane’s fully fledged concern shows here and i think it’s rather beautiful. he’s serious and clearly very worried. he aims to help and tries in every way he can even if he doesn’t know how. and i can’t help but fall for him even more in such moments.
because sometimes all a person wants or needs is for someone to try. trying shows care and i connect with that. the want to be cared for and seen in such a way. it’s small, but it’s impact is huge.
i haven’t experienced such a care before, but maybe someday soon. i really do love lane and his character. and i am very excited to see him grow as a character more and more with future updates/releases.
txto