I feel very alienated from a lot of queer spaces due to my experience as a transgender butch lesbian on T, so I just rely on my close circles. It’s a bit difficult for me to show sympathy or solidarity most of the time thanks to lesbophobia I’ve received from various other queers, which is why I mentioned I prefer befriending other lesbians. I value intersectionality more than anything, and all of my friends are queer POC.
Basically if you’re nice and understand that validation ≠ oppression (you don’t need oppression in order to be a “valid” queer) and that queerness does not erase privilege (white, male, abled or such) then we can understand each other.
That being said, for my hottest takes, and no, I’m not looking for “debates” no matter how friendly they are:
- Men can’t be lesbians, trans men are included in such. Sue me and call me a TERF, I don’t care. I am actually focused on fighting to include trans women in lesbianism while you guys are claiming to be woke while simultaneously including trans men because they were born with vaginas. Y’all are more aligned to TERF ideology than me, I promise LOL
- Butch isn’t synonymous to transmasc or masculine, and femme doesn’t mean feminine. Watering it down to masculine/feminine is historic erasure, lesbophobia, and transmisogyny when it comes to tfem butches.
- Butchfemme is only for lesbians, because a person who is attracted to men cannot possibly execute any butchfemme roles because it is an inherently political and erotic identity that fully excludes men.
- These newgen terms that just mean bisexual (sapphillean, lezgay, gaysbian, bi lesbian, etc) are not historically accurate because you people are not keeping in mind the historical context of why bisexuals were calling themselves lesbians.
- Lesbianism is not “nonmen for nonmen”. One part of lesbianism is decentering your life from men, and understanding that the label woman can be versatile and volatile. Putting the focus on not being attracted to men is, crazily enough, centering men.
Caring about LGBT discourse is pointless, but words have meaning. Identities and labels exist to name experiences and connect people together. Lesbianism is an important identity with a long history that cannot just be diluted or changed because Kai used to be a Tumblr lesbian before he transitioned and now he feels super sad that he’s no longer included in his college lesbian club. If an experience no longer fits you, that’s fine. It’s part of being human. Adapt to change.
Also important to say but replying and QRTing TERFs to “own them” is a lose-lose situation: it benefits no one, and it exposes you and your transfeminine mutuals to violent transphobes. Think before you decide to “own” a virulent bigot for internet points. Block and move on. Thumbpu
txto