Editing to add I can still befriend people with clashing ideas such as mspecs and such, but do know that I do not wish to change my mind or to debate anybody on this. I don’t really care if you’re a “gaybian”, but don’t ask me to change my mind or to validate you — if your whole thing is to seek validation from others then we’re already off to a terrible start.
I feel very alienated from a lot of queer spaces due to my experience as a transgender butch lesbian on T, so I just rely on my close circles. It’s a bit difficult for me to show sympathy or solidarity most of the time thanks to lesbophobia I’ve received from various other queers, which is why I prefer befriending other (trans) lesbians. I value intersectionality more than anything, and all of my friends are queer & trans POC.
But, basically if you’re nice and understand that you don’t need oppression in order to be a “valid” queer and that queerness does not erase privilege, then we can understand each other.
That being said, for my hottest takes, and no, I’m not looking for “debates” no matter how friendly they are:
- Men can’t be lesbians, trans men are included in such. Sue me and call me a TERF, I don’t care, I am actually focused on fighting to include trans women in lesbianism while you guys are too busy focusing on men and being transmisogynistic by excluding and ignoring lesbian trans women’s struggles. Y’all are more aligned to TERF ideology than me, I promise.
- These newgen terms that just mean bisexual (sapphillean, lezgay, gaysbian, bi lesbian, etc) are not “historically accurate” because you people are not keeping in mind the historical context of why bisexuals were calling themselves lesbians.
- Gold-star lesbianism is centering men and turning lesbianism into a “not attracted to men” sexuality rather than a “exclusively attracted to women” one, same goes to people who claim that lesbianism is for nonmen loving nonmen. Womanhood is a spectrum and an umbrella.
- Slur discourse is retarded but I do side-eye you if you celebrate about being queer and “being able to say slurs”. Sometimes it feels like some of you are only queer just to say fag and dyke freely.
And, on butchfemme:
- Butch isn’t synonymous to transmasc or masculine, and femme doesn’t mean feminine. Watering it down to masculine/feminine is historic erasure, lesbophobia, and transmisogyny when it comes to tfem butches. The “futchscale” was meant to be a joke, learn what high femme and stone butch actually fucking mean!
- Speaking of, Stone Butch Blues is not the media representation you guys think it is, it’s a semi-fictional piece that includes explicit and graphic gang-rape and violence. STOP BLINDLY RECOMMENDING IT TO PEOPLE, because I know 98% of you didn’t read it either. And also, might I add, stop using a white author as your spokesperson for butchness!
- Butchfemme is only for lesbians, because a person who is attracted to men cannot possibly execute any butchfemme roles because it is an inherently political and erotic identity that fully excludes men. It is okay to be masc, I promise.
Caring about LGBT discourse is pointless, but words have meaning. Identities and labels exist to name experiences and connect people together. Lesbianism is an important identity with a long history that cannot just be diluted only because Kai used to be a Tumblr lesbian before he transitioned and now he feels super sad that he’s no longer included in his college lesbian club. If an experience no longer fits you, that’s fine. It’s part of being human. Adapt to change.
Also important to say but replying and QRTing TERFs to “own them” is a lose-lose situation: it benefits no one, and it exposes you and your transfeminine mutuals to violent transphobes. Think before you decide to “own” a virulent bigot for internet points. Block and move on. Thumbpu
txto