the repetitive thud of the bass hits in his eardrums waves, like an avalanche hitting the moving cars on the highway. he is standing on the balcony of the venue, entranced with the performance unfolding in front of him. he wishes he was down in the pit, feeling the action. being in the moment, slamming into others, instead of spectating. it was always an escape to him. the music would carry him away to a time when things didn’t suck so much. maybe, it takes him back to nothingness. he has no past to go back to that is truly his. he gets hyper aware of the railing, how sticky it is. the smell of smoke, weed, and body odor are frying off his nose hairs. usually, loud noises made him uncomfortable. this was different. the girl he brought with him had her ear plugs in. he scoffs inside his head. she only knows their most popular song. this made him so inexplicably pissed. she had seemed like she knew a lot about the band, but here she is, covering her ears and closing her eyes. ungrateful. he can’t stand posers; they make his blood boil so high that it splashes out and stains the sheets under him, in those quiet nights he spends laying in his bed, wondering where it all went wrong.
the strobe lights didn’t bother him. if this were some shitty music he didn’t like, he would have hauled ass out of the venue as fast as he could.
it felt like a dream when it was over. he wanted to go back again and again and relive the moment as much as he could, but it was futile. soon this experience will bank in the back of his mind, being another thing “he” did. he has watched “himself” for the entirety of time. he doesn’t know who “he” is. it frustrates him to no end. he just wants to go back.
the ride home from the concert was underwhelming. they took public transport, so he was stuck riding a long train back with a bitch he never wanted to see again. yeah sure, it wasn’t like she killed someone or something, but he was appalled at the fact she called herself a fan of the band yet didn’t even know the two main members by name. he just needs to go back home to lay and think about his life.
once he arrived home, he started thinking about his love life. it doesn’t come out of nowhere. he figures he will eventually need a companion to spend his life with, because the way she reacted to the concert just fuels his lack of faith in humanity. he starts picturing his friend, hoping that one day he would be able to tell the other boy how he felt. he doesn’t even think that the guy is gay, or even likes him in the first place. he always feels like he is a second away from blowing up at him, or the other boy exploding back. he and the boy were planning something, something serious. revenge on the people who had hurt them. he wouldn’t want to do it with anyone other than the other boy. he slides his headphones fully on, and slams himself into bed face first. he hits his head repeatedly into the pillow.
the music fades as his eyes grow heavy, and he eventually falls asleep.
txto