Editing to add I can still befriend people with clashing ideas such as MSPECs and futches and such, but do know that I do not wish to debate anybody on this, I live fully by “live and let live”. Whatever people do is none of my business at the end of the day, I don’t really care if you’re a gaybian. All I’ll ask is for you to not ask me to debate with you or to validate you — if your whole thing is to seek validation from others then we’re already off to a terrible start. Live your life the way you want it, no one’s opinions should matter, including mine. Some of my dearest friends are MSPECs, and I myself am viewed as controversial or contradictory due to being a very hypermasc transgender dude who also identifies as a lesbian, so I really don’t care what you do. These are just my views.
I feel very alienated from a lot of queer spaces due to my experience as a transgender masculine butch lesbian on T, so I just rely on my close circles. It’s a bit difficult for me to show sympathy or solidarity most of the time thanks to lesbophobia I’ve received from various other queers, which is why I prefer befriending other (trans) lesbians. But, basically if you’re nice and understand that you don’t need oppression in order to be a “valid” queer and that queerness does not erase privilege, then we can understand each other. Including people I disagree with, such as MSPECs or “good faith” IDers.
I value intersectionality more than anything, and all of my friends are queer & trans POC. I consider myself a transfeminist and I value QPOC more than white queers. You will always find me on the side of Black, Brown and Indigenous trans women.
That being said, for my hottest takes, and no, I’m not looking for “debates” no matter how friendly they are:
- Men can’t be lesbians, trans men are included in such. I prefer to focus on fighting to include trans women in lesbianism rather than ignoring lesbian trans women’s struggles just to validate men and insert them in the one orientation that purposefully excludes them. I detest the fact that transgender people in lesbianism discourse has moved the actual fight from transfems to trans men and transmascs. Focus on the actual women, please!
- These newgen terms that just mean bisexual (sapphillean, lezgay, gaysbian, bi lesbian, etc) are not “historically accurate” because you people are not keeping in mind the historical context of why bisexuals were calling themselves lesbians. Mama let’s research political lesbianism!
- On that note, political lesbianism is a NO! You’re not a lesbian for avoiding dating men while still being attracted to them. Bisexuality is a wide spectrum that encompasses a lot of levels of attraction. Believe me, it’s more powerful to be a bisexual woman who refuses to date men and exclusively dates women. However, febfem is a TERF dogwhistle and I hate anyone who uses it.
- Gold-star lesbianism is centering men and turning lesbianism into a “not attracted to men” sexuality rather than a “exclusively attracted to women” one. While the concept itself is real, all gold-stars are inherently misogynistic and transphobic (as most TERFs are… shocker). Your lesbianism isn’t less “valid” just because you dated men or had sex with them in the past.
- Slur discourse is absolutely stupid but I do side-eye you if you celebrate about being queer and “being able to say slurs”. Sometimes it feels like some of you are only queer just to say fag and dyke freely.
- STOP ASSOCIATING HEATED RIVALRY WITH LESBIANS OH MY GOD NO I DO NOT WANT HUDSON’S UGLY ASS HE’S NOT A LESBIAN ICON I WILL TELL YOU TO KILL YOURSELF.
And, on butchfemme:
- Butch isn’t synonymous to transmasc or masculine, and femme doesn’t mean feminine. Watering it down to masculine/feminine is historic erasure, lesbophobia, and transmisogyny when it comes to tfem butches. The “futchscale” was meant to be a joke, learn what high femme and stone butch actually fucking mean!
- Speaking of, Stone Butch Blues is not the media representation you guys think it is, it’s a semi-fictional piece that includes explicit and graphic gang-rape and violence. STOP BLINDLY RECOMMENDING IT TO PEOPLE, because I know 98% of you didn’t read it either. And also, might I add, stop using a white author as your spokesperson for butchness!
- Butchfemme is only for lesbians, because a person who is attracted to men cannot possibly execute any butchfemme roles because it is an inherently political and erotic identity that fully excludes men. It is okay to be masc, I promise.
- “Futch” is not a real identity because there’s no middle ground in butchfemme. It’s like being a centrist. Butchfemme is strictly a political identity with roles and history, and you cannot possibly be both at the same time. And if you mean it as being both feminine and masculine… Refer to my first point and just use androgynous. Not all lesbians will ID with either butch or femme, and that’s alright.
Caring about LGBT discourse is pointless, but I do believe words have meaning. Identities and labels exist to name experiences and connect people together. Lesbianism is an important identity with a long history that cannot just be diluted. If an experience no longer fits you, that’s fine. It’s part of being human. Adapt to change.
Also important (and a bit unrelated) to say but replying and QRTing TERFs to “own them” is a lose-lose situation: it benefits no one, and it exposes you and your transfeminine mutuals to violent transphobes. Think before you decide to “own” a virulent bigot for internet points. Block and move on. Thumbpu
txto