@jaredpadalecki on Discord dot gov
Heiiii. 🙂 You can call me Loki! (That’s because it’s my real name, in a shocking turn of events.) Figure out my gender yourself. Hint: my name gives it away, I’m afraid. I’m very much a grown adult, so if you’re a random child who got lost in the fresh produce aisle and took a harsh left into my DMs, please leave this place immediately and take yourself to concierge for your parents’ collection.
Don’t contact me to discuss drama unless it’s funny, in which case please go ahead. I’m not above a little voyeuristic bloodsports, a la Emperor Commodus. #GladiatorialContestsAre🔙! Do NOT enter my golden domicile for URLs/usernames, flat out, unless you happen to have either Loki or Bucky on whatever site it is that is in the active state of putrefying both of our souls from the inside out and wish to do a bit of business. 💼
No, I don’t want your suspicious file. No, I don’t want a commission unless I’ve personally reached out to you first. No, I don’t want the recipe to your mom’s peach cobbler, BITCH, stop attempting to waste my DAMN TIME ⌚ on scams or I will cleave you in twain and leave your obliterated corpse out for the wildlife to snack on. My cursed amulet is NOT FOR SALE!
Random friend requests will be scrutinised with intense prejudice because I have the soul of a schema monk that took far too many research chemicals. I will probably interrogate you unless we have mutual servers/friends. State your name and purpose at the door or begone from me!
There is a large chance I will accidentally leave you on delivered because I have the memory of a goldfish and am deeply retarded (despite my parlance.) Should this happen, a double text will suffice. Anybody is welcome to message me but keep in mind that I usually do keep to myself and my circles so it’s unlikely that I will engage on a regular basis, and I likely won’t message first. People interest me, but that does not mean I’m very good at connecting.
Please do not form a parasocial bond with me. I’ll kill the both of us, and I’m not joking.
txto